December 24, 2024 - 4:56am

     I think I finally know the capital of Latvia!

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December 17, 2024 - 9:58pm

     I firmly believe that people who have Christmas lights that flash intentionally deserve to spend at least a month in prison.

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November 17, 2024 - 12:53am

     We can talk all day about stupid celebrity kids' names, but I think the fact that Usain Bolt's daughter's middle name is "Lightning," and one of his son's names is "Thunder" is pure perfection. Those kids must be immune to bullying because their names are so cool.

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September 29, 2024 - 8:02pm

     I bet in the future, when kids are asked what’s the origin of their name is, they’ll have to respond, “ChatGPT.”

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September 24, 2024 - 9:15pm

     No good show (aside from Jeopardy!) should be on for too many seasons. Ten is really pushing it. Can someone tell the news we don't need all this content? They're already repeating the same plot like four times a night.

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Literally Every Time I Watch Tangled

     How did Mother Gothel figure out she had to sing a specific song to a flower to stay young? Did someone teach her? How would they have known?

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August 11, 2024 - 8:33pm

     Don't get me wrong, I love a good hate-watch, but I don't get why Statler and Waldorf keep paying to see The Muppets. They're just happily handing over their money to the enemy. Despite being arguably The Muppet's biggest fans, or at least most reliable financial supporters, I doubt they're getting any of their tickets comped. Furthermore, why do The Muppets keep letting them in? I feel like their show would go a lot more smoothly if they banned Statler and Waldorf from the theatre.

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August 8, 2024 - 3:04pm

     Can someone please cast me as Squirrel Girl in the MCU? I think I'm totally qualified because I frequently forget to look both ways before I cross the street.

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August 7, 2024 - 4:40am

     Why is it that any song where a guy describes the love of his life, he always makes her sound terrible? Like I don't want to Meet Virginia. She may be Always a Woman, but keep her away from me.

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July 31, 2024 - 4:41pm

     Units of time less than a day make no sense to me. Like I get a day is based on the sun going up and down, but then why should the time in between that be divided by 24? And then 60? 24 doesn’t even fit into 60 evenly. So weird.

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July 2, 2024 - 5:37am

     I know he dropped out after three days, but how did Spencer Shay even get into a law school?

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May 20, 2024 - 7:13am

     If I'm being totally honest, it does bother me that newborn giraffes are taller than I'll ever be.

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May 17, 2024 - 1:26am

     A recurring problem of my life is thinking I know the capital of Latvia, but then finding out I have no idea what it is. 

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May 15, 2024 - 3:47am

     Miss Piggy is who Abby Lee Miller desperately wants to be, whether she realizes it or not. And honestly same.

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March 13, 2024 - 1:22am

     You know how there are these things you never think about on your own, but they keep coming up all around you? Frankly, I don't know if that sentence connected with anyone, or even made sense, but for a while, three of those things for me have been ska music (not the music itself, but just the mention of it), Brian d'Arcy James, and The Scarlet Pimpernel.

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March 5, 2024 - 4:16am

     I think we all complain about Hollywood running out of ideas. There are far too many sequels, prequels, and spinoffs coming out nowadays. Moana is one of my favourite movies, but I really don't think it needs a second one. Oh, and don't even get me started on the Star Wars universe. Rogue One was an unreasonably long movie to explain a plot hole from a movie that came out like 45 years ago. And why is an Office reboot always coming up? There are already nine seasons of that show, and some of them are even good. Just rewatch that. 

But, I guess if you can't beat them, you gotta join them, and I actually do have an idea for an unnecessary spinoff:

So, in Parks and Rec there's this family that comes up all the time, the Lerpiss family. They're some kind of dynasty in Pawnee, but without any of the prestige or presumably money that the Newports have. What I want to see, more than anything, is a mock reality show about this complicated family. Maybe something kind of Kardashian style. I want to know why they spend all their free time just hanging around city hall. I mean, I know Herman runs his pawn shop, but Bjorn and Morris are always attending open government meetings, seemingly just for fun. Also, I'm sure Dennis is probably out of work, given that he owned a video rental store. I know he rebranded to "Pawnee VideoDome: XXX Adult DVD Emporium" to increase business, but to be perfectly honest, I don't think his landmark status would make up for his lack of customers today. If he was losing to streaming over ten years ago, I doubt he would be doing any better now.

Anyway, I guess my point is that I think there's something there, because they're such a huge family with seemingly not a lot to do. Sometimes the best art comes from boredom. 

Can you tell I wrote this well past 4:00 in the morning? No, right?

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February 27, 2024 - 12:21am

     If I could time travel to any place at any time, I'd go to whenever the exorcism scene from S2E1 of Nathan For You happened. I would happily live in that moment for the rest of time.

 

February 24, 2024 - 3:06am

     For about 90% of the movies I watch, I get disappointed when they're not Zootopia.

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February 6, 2024 - 8:23pm

     I'm usually not one to make fun of people for being too late on trends, but, like, who is still going to high school? That was so two and a half years ago.

 

Thoughts I wrote down while in Korea/Japan

     Ferris wheels are more fun to look at than to go on. 

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     I think not enough people refer to Heathers as that movie/musical about domestic terrorism.

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     Sometimes I think my bra is the only thing holding me together.

 

December 11, 2023 - 11:01pm

     Recently, I've been thinking a lot about how my Grade 6 teacher told me his favourite colour was brown and I didn't run away for my safety.

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December 9, 2023 - 6:34am

     I have never once worried that I left my oven on. I do, however, constantly worry that I left my hot glue gun plugged in. I feel like that really represents where I am in life.

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November 25, 2023 - 10:01pm

     I like to live dangerously: I do arts and crafts on top of my white comforter.

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November 25, 2023 - 6:00am

     You should be able to block people on Libby. No, I don’t want to read pseudo-sociologist Malcolm Gladwell. PLEASE STOP SUGGESTING HIS BOOKS! ​

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November 18, 2023 - 9:57pm

     Imagine how much it must suck to have your legal name be John or Jane Doe.

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November 12, 2023 - 8:22pm

     What I do with most of my time is think about Andrew Rannells. Today I can't stop thinking about that interview he gave when he was asked about James Corden playing a gay character in The Prom, and he said that it was fine because he was playing a straight character. I don't know if he's actually seen the movie, but I think he got that wrong. I have no idea what gave him the impression that his character in that movie was heterosexual. Was it the  Juilliard shirt that he was wearing? When he sang "The Acceptance Song" in a tailored leather star-spangled-banner-jacket? Maybe it was near the end when he held up a sign with a superlative that said, "Most likely to be on a reality show" while wearing a shimmery turquoise suit? 

     Don't get me wrong: it goes without saying that self expression is totally separate from sexuality. But that character was still 100% gay.

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